Reto Aschwanden
15 coins € 75,00
Gertjan Zuilhof
14 coins € 70,00
panuksmi hardjowirogo
13 coins € 65,00
fransio
11 coins € 55,00
Peter Sprenger - Germany
11 coins € 55,00
view all (0) »
God's Joke
This is a short movie about a person who is born with one of the most unattractive faces in the universe who tries to be the one of the funniest people who ever lived. It's based around a great stand-up routine from a very hideous human being. This person gives the greatest and most funny monologue in the history of the world but its very hard to look at this person because their face is so grotesque.
08 Sep 2010 I like cinema I like cinema it makes me feel real good. sometimes when i eat chocolate it drips down my chin and reminds me of the first time i ever touched a girls nipples. her name was looloo and she stunk like pop corn. looloo worked in a movie theater and in the late 80's she gave me a real nice hand job while i watched the film goodfellas. i also found a set of car keys on the floor. after she gave me a hand job then we walked through the parking lot and stuck the keys in the door of every parked car. there was a dog in the back a red Buick who had vomit all over his lips, he kept barking like crazy. that was the last car we checked and then we stuck the car key in and it worked perfectly. looloo had some extra chloroform that she had stolen from her science class. she put it over the rag and then accidental suffocated this poor dog to death. i remember looking at her and feeling really bad for the dog but looloo wasn't wearing a bra and she was making sure that her nipples were hard. i kept thinking that i might marry this bitch. but now the question was what to do with this dead dog. so we waited till everyone got out of the movie theater. we wrapped the dead dog in a blanket and stuffed it in her bosses office. she thought it would be a good joke. her boss was a gay man and he was real sloppy with the way he ran the cinema so looloo thought it would be a nice gesture to drop off this dead dog behind her bosses wooden desk. we left the dog and then jumped in the stolen car. i remember that the car smelled like onions mixed with maple syrup. looloo said she wanted to drive to the beach. i said no way, that's 800 miles from here. looloo said that she would lick my ass if i agreed to drive with her to Miami. i had never had my ass licked before and i had never been to Miami either. i told her i thought that getting my ass licked sounded kind of strange and maybe even a little too gay. she said no way. she said that once her mother had licked the ass of Marcello Mastriani and that it had been one of her greatest life achievements. i said lets do it bitch. so we drove Miami. for some reason i could only get a boner if looloo was sitting next to me in a movie theater. we didn't have much money so we snuck into theater where they were playing a film that could have been Jurassic Park. i can remember all the dinosaurs and an old women who had her shoes off in front of us. looloo gave me another hand job and it was great. i busted a nut when all these people started killing the dinosaurs with electric wire. it was great. it was shortly after that looloo called her mother back home who was suffering from cocaine addiction and ulcers. her mother said the police were after us. she said the dog looloo killed was a famous supreme court judge who was pissed off and ready to prosecute the hell out of us. her mom said she would buy us a ticket to Brazil and we could live out there for the rest of our lives and never look back. for some reason all that i kept thinking about was how looloo still hadn't licked my ass yet. i had seen one porno in the 5th grade where a Chinese women licked the ass of a man in donkey costume. i kept thinking that if we did go to jail then i should at least get my ass licked. it just so happened that the movie goodfellas was playing at midnight in Orlando Florida. so we drove to Orlando. looloo jirked off a garbage man for the gas money. she licked my ass in Orlando that night. i have to admit that it did feel wonderful. i was watching Joe Pesci the whole time that was strange. the next day we abandoned the car and rolled it off a cliff so that no one could find us. we went to the beach and begged for spare change. looloo met a hippie and disappeared. i was pissed at her but i also felt relieved. i took a grayhound bus back home and i was arrested on the spot when i walked into my house. my neighbor called the cops on me. i spent one year in juvenile prison. the funny thing is that while i was in prison the only movies that we could watch on VHS were goodfellas and Jurassic park. when i got released i found out looloo had jumped off the golden gate bridge and died. i felt really bad for a few hours but then i remembered how good it was when she licked my ass and what a gift she had given me. i think that's what started my love affair with the cinema and shaped my groundbreaking philosophy.
h
Comments
Will you make a movie out of it? It's a great film story!
By: Patricio Garcia | wednesday 10 november 2010 17:52
Daggering = OUT. Humping trash = IN.
By: A. | wednesday 06 october 2010 13:52
we raped each other at the beach for wh ore money

harm. looloo is alive and well, drinking 211 steel reserve, placing an ad on cl to sell her dirty panties

we're listening to bandannas, tattoos, and tongue rings by messy marv

i'm going to go bite a honeydew melon and masturbate on my grandfathers edith piaf record, while reciting bartletts familar quotations from memory

i really like the work you did w/ fiona apples criminal video

my email is cat skeleton in the aquarium @ electronic computer mail dot

harmony killuminati was buried in richmond, ca.

"Your reaction contains the word wh ore. This word is not allowed!"
By: wh ore money | wednesday 29 september 2010 20:21
He Juan Tetsuo Vargas, you have to click one of the logo's to choose a payment method, but maybe you figured it out already ;-) good luck w/ coproducing!
By: fransio | tuesday 14 september 2010 22:31
Touching story.
By: Max | friday 10 september 2010 21:51
How do I get coins to fund this project? Everytime it directs me to payment processing it says:

Payment confirmation

Order reference : 2000767
Total charge : ---
Beneficiary : International Film Festival Rotterd

unknown order/1/r/

And there's nothing to click after that. I want to help produce, but I can't if it won't let me! I'm on a mac btw, if that makes a difference.
By: Juan Tetsuo Vargas | friday 10 september 2010 15:19
That was beautiful.
By: Nikita Mehri | thursday 09 september 2010 19:52
Oh yeah! All the way!!
By: Natasa H | thursday 09 september 2010 09:10
I licked this punk girl's ass in a garbage bin one time. She said it'd be post-modern. I think she wrote a song about it. She looked really good with a green mohawk and a big fat cigar in her mouth. I always wanted to walk around with her, but she didn't have any hands.
By: A. Horny Moniker | thursday 09 september 2010 07:12
totally.
By: don lee | thursday 09 september 2010 06:36
Harmony, I'm going to be in this film whether you like it or not. So the joke's on you.
By: Juan Tetsuo Vargas | thursday 09 september 2010 05:31
Love it. Just wish their were perks like be in the film.
By: alexiaanastasio | wednesday 08 september 2010 22:17
messed-up stuff, doing serious damage, you have my vote! And some coins as well...
By: fransio | wednesday 08 september 2010 21:52
its going onnn!!!
By: Rutger W | wednesday 08 september 2010 14:06
Name (shown on site):
Reaction:
I like cinema (08 sep 2010)
Harmony Korine Oncehailed as ‘the future of American cinema’ by Werner Herzog, writer/director, Harmony Korine is one of the most controversial, independent filmmakers working today. His vast, varied body of work includes Kids, his directorial debut Gummo, Julien Donkey-Boy, Ken Park and Mister Lonely. Harmony Korine returned in 2009 with Trash Humpers, one of his most provocative films yet. Recurring themes in Harmony Korine’s work are voyeurism, the celebration of outsiders, envy, celebrity and desire.